Marriage is about convenience NOT love!

[phazzedout]

By all means. I'm rather curious. If you write it, I'll read it.

You would really read everything I wrote on the sociological and psychological aspect of the men and women. I would not. I wouldn't even read a text book about this. In any case, Men are not from "Mars" and Woman are not from "Venus" we are more related than different but we tend to focus on the differences and that is what separates us and keeps us in the dark of how a relationship could work or even a marriage in this case.

Many people do marry out of convenience. My parents are a prime example.

[fractalfeline]

Well, as of the 17th of this month, I have been married 20 years. I have three beautiful daughters, a cat, a dog, 21 fish, and my daughter's snake.

Married for love is married for life, and vice versa. No complaints, no regrets.

Yes, I have seen many, many of our friends go through three or more marriages and divorces during our years together. We're lucky, and I'm grateful.

I wish everyone could find their soulmate. It's a great life.

Ah, congrats! I think we hear more about the failures than we hear about the successes. I'm glad that you shared yours! To 20 more years eh?!

[angela29]

I am 29. Married for 4 years now. I got married when I was twenty for stability...not money, I made more money than him......I was stable financially but in every other aspect...not much love support, kindness respect on his end, so I got divorced not long after. Second time around and this will be my last time, I married or love, financially we are more unstable but very happy and have two beautiful daughters to show for it.

People marry because they are co-dependent. The must have someone to share their life with. What is that one saying happines is nothing uless you canshare it with someone. It is nice to have a friend that will always be there when you need them. Someone to talk to when you need it, Someone to wipe the tears away tell you when you have spinach in your teeth or giggle when your pretty little three year old rips a big fart at the dinner table( she takes after her daddy .

People today have , which is one reason why our landfills are so full is we trash everything. If something becomes to hard to work on, difficult to deal with we trash it, just to get something new that will fail in probably the same way in a couple of years. All that thing needed was some work, some wood putty, a new coat of paint, a nice polish and it would have last a lifetime. People give up to easy when it becomes alittle to hard for them. Just like fairytails to get to the happy ending there are many wicked witches to run over and flying monkeys to shoot, and poison apples to eat. A happy marriage is all worth the small troubles along the way.

[fractalfeline]

You would really read everything I wrote on the sociological and psychological aspect of the men and women. I would not. I wouldn't even read a text book about this. In any case, Men are not from "Mars" and Woman are not from "Venus" we are more related than different but we tend to focus on the differences and that is what separates us and keeps us in the dark of how a relationship could work or even a marriage in this case.

To be blunt: I actually like sociology, anthropology, culture studies, philosophy, and the like, and enjoy a good read. Yes, I actually do enjoy reading sociology and anthropology text books, as I find it endlessly fascinating. I suppose what I'm trying to say is: just because YOU think a certain way, and YOU like something, and YOU dislike something, and YOU have an opinion, does not mean everyone else has the same thinking patterns, likes, dislikes, and opinions.



So back to the first contention I had with you: you can't generalize what All Men Want and What All Women Want based, from what I could gather, on what You and Your Friends in High School and College want, and your (dare I say) limited experiences with women. Just because YOUR parents are married for convenience does not mean you can speak for the entire demographic of the Western World, period. You can only speak from your own experience, what you have observed to be true, and your ~ perspective ~. Period.



Unless, of course, you've actually done some reading and research about sociology, culture, especially related to gender issues, and maybe a little about generational gaps. Perspectives about gender roles certainly have changed since the 60s, and you'll find vastly different ideas between the WWII generation, the boomers, Gen X and Gen Y. As Gen Y, I know my views about the role of women in society is different from my mother, an early Boomer. Even the idea of what marriage is about has changed over the centuries and millenia: Greek and Roman ideas, Judean ideas, Medieval ideas, Renaissance, the rise of Romanticism, the Enlightenment era, Feminism... all these ideas and movements have changed the idea of marriage and gender roles. Certainly, you're aware of all this?



To be honest: I found your statement of "I could go on and write the sociological aspect of woman and man but would anyone read it, of course not." as "I'm a pretentious idiot trying really hard to make people believe that I have some basis for my ideas other than my own limited experiences, and that I might actually be educated about the subject, but in reality I'm just blowing steam. I don't think anyone will call my BS." Well I called it. Let see your cards! Do you REALLY know anything about sociology? If I was really interested in having a well-thought out, educated discussion with you about marriage, gender roles, and the like, would you be able to hold up your end?



Meanwhile, I've noticed that you've suddenly changed tactics. Whereas before you're like "omg men want totally different things than women, women only want money, men only want food, toys, and sex" you are now like "omg people focus too much on the differences between men and women, they aren't really that different" Pffaw. Ok, so... are you trying to say that the differences between what men want and what women want are not altogether that different, that humans in general tend to want similar things, that maybe it's Not That Simple? It's not as simple as Mars and Venus, sex vs. money? Well... who'd have thunk that eh?



Re: Angela

I am glad that you found happiness in your marriage! I think you're view on the modern marriage is more in keeping with reality With today's ideas of instant gratification and Me First, it sure is hard to find people who believe in Building Things to Last. I hope for many years of success and happiness for you!

[kefka_asylum]

love your self not others

[phazzedout]

@kefka_asylum The human species automatically tries to find a mate. What you say is not remotely possible.

[xav0989]

@kefka_asylum The human species automatically tries to find a mate. What you say is not remotely possible.

I entirely agree with you. At first, it simply was a quest for a mate, that could help you (either man or woman) procreate to make the specie live on. However, as we tend to make everything complicated, we added love, lust and many other aspects. But I still believe that deep down, the only thing we want is to pass down our genes. Now the best way to do it, either through tons of one night stands or a stable steady marriage is entirely personal, and I have not made up my mind about it, although I kinda tend toward the stability.

[hot100]

Well, true that humans are fundamentally sexual. We are all about the opposite sex for the same. However, there is this thing labeled love that causes people to get married and stuff. I think its for only convenience. You see, you like, you want to keep to yourself. I think it also speaks to our selfish streak or call it survival instinct.

[sedesign]

You're spot on, people get bored with looks after a while and then the marriage fails.

I think people get married because their other half is "the one that stuck around the morning after" in alot of cases. We will in an instant world these days, everything from sending a letter to purchasing things is done so quickly (i.e. email and online shopping) its the same with marriage... people just get down on one knee for the first person that is aesthetically pleasing and will jump in the sack any time, instead of holding out for someone who they are truly meant to be with.